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1. Get Informed
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic Violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. Some signs of an abusive relationship include:
Exerting strict control (financial, social and/or appearance).
Needing constant contact including excessive texts and calls.
Emotional abuse including insulting a partner in front of other people.
Extreme jealousy.
Showing fear around a partner.
Isolation from family and friends.
Frequent canceling of plans at the last minute.
Unexplained injuries or explanations that don’t quite add up.
Around the globe, governments have implored residents to stay home to protect themselves and others from the new coronavirus disease, COVID-19. But for domestic violence victims—the vast majority of whom are women and children—home is a dangerous place. Even before the added stress and isolation of COVID-19, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experienced severe intimate partner physical violence, as reported by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
Faith communities are called to offer hope, help, and healing to all harmed by domestic abuse and violence. We must learn to recognize domestic abuse, respond with compassion, and refer people to the proper services that are prepared to help them.
To end domestic violence and sexual assault, we all need to be part of the solution. Educating yourself and others, helping a friend who is being abused, speaking up, and being an engaged bystander are all examples of things you can do to help.
Talking about these issues openly will help end the shame and stigma that domestic violence and sexual assault survivors are burdened with. The next time you’re in a room with 6 people, think about this:
1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience violence from their partners in their lifetimes.
1 in 3 teens experience sexual or physical abuse or threats from a boyfriend or girlfriend in one year.
1 in 5 women are survivors of rape.
1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men have experienced sexual violence in their lives.
1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men were sexually abused before the age of 18.
What does the Catholic Church say about Domestic Violence?
2. Pray
3. Support Organizations that are helping Survivors of Domestic Violence
4. Take Action and Advocate for Victims/Survivors
What can I do to be helpful if an abusive situation is revealed?
Listen, Believe, and Refer. Share that the abuse is not God’s will. Say that help is available 24/7 at the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233),1-800-787-324 (TTY) or at www.ndvh.org.
Let them know that without intervention, abuse often escalates in frequency and severity over time.
Seek expert assistance by calling the NDVH. Refer themonly to specialized domestic violence counseling programs, not to couples counseling.
If possible, encourage the abusive person to seek help. Attending an appropriate 12-step recovery group has been a source of recovery for many people.
Silence and lack of knowledge about domestic violence (DV) and sexual assault (SA) play a large part in why they persist. Simply wanting to help and learn more is a huge step toward ending DV/SA. Once you understand how to recognize domestic violence and sexual assault, you can learn how to respond to someone who may need support, and also take steps to prevent these crimes going forward.
One important thing to remember: You are not alone in this. Hotlines take many, many calls from concerned friends and family who do not know what to do. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help. These can be difficult, delicate conversations and it’s natural to want some guidance.